cannot take it like that!


okay i shy alr...

I rlly wonder why im still doing things that i knew that i would never get back in return.
I feel super stressed out with school . sometimes i just forget how to communicate with people.
Its rlly suck big time. and hello back old blogg. I guess this is the only place i would pour my sorrow or whatever shit. will be back soon. I wanna get this shit feeling out of me asap. I think im lucky to have jiaen being there for me not all the time but yea sometimes when i felt like breaking down.. I swear this is karma. Im feeling whats you used to feel nw.

OKAY this is a new song from pussycat dolls! LOL
i cant find the new release video cause
youtube delete almost all that been download!

THIS SONG IS GROWING ON ME!

rejection of a friend is sucky
let alone the person you love/like/crushed?
so i rather not love any1.


why i did this to myself when i know it gna hurt me again.

Here I am again
Talking to myself
Sitting at a red light
Both hands on the wheel
How am I supposed to feel?
So much running through my mind


the hidden truth Gushing out like a waterfall.
and im feeling so guilty now and
to realize that you been there all awhile
JUST to make me feel alright?
YOU sacrifice alot i cant ever imagine anyone ever did to me all silently.
is that true friendship?

Hiding away
Losing the day
As if it doesn't really matter
Saying goodbye
Scared to say why
Afraid it will shatter our world
Show me some faith, now

Trust me somehow
Why are we keeping our secrets?
Why are we hiding ourselves away?

I need some faith now
To trust you somehow

i miss their presence in my class.
ana always have her very meaningful advice and
gab always have his trick and jokes up his sleeve
and never fail to entertain me during the boring lesson teached by teacher
oh oh i remember mrs lim lili always scold gab and not me when we talked.hoho
I remember me and gab calling astiana GEEK.
we even stick the word ANA GEEK on our table during lesson LOLS
and she get pissed just cos of it.
they never failed to ask if im okay when im being quiet.
i miss astiana whining and complaining about almost everything to do with school.
ect.so many homework and SHE still do now.(:
i miss the sms chat i had with astiana from what we gna do when we grow up to one of our emotional moment we had last year.
and i miss the late night talk with fourple
and i still remember gab slept once and something happened
which let to the fourple to laughs like hell.
i miss the last minute outing with gab and astiana.
as in really last minute plan.
and ended up having much fun.
I miss just having fun with them.
and them always there when i was down.
they help me to broad my small circle of friends to a bigger one
and through them i made a few close friends.
hua,clare,reanes,tiann,wilson,sz,kr,justin,mia and not forgetting KEITH.

Both of them is what i called a best friend.

i know this year things have change alot. They moved on. Astiana have her girls and Gabriel have his new group of clique in his class. and here i am still struggling to find where do i feel belong and stuck at this moment. should i let go of this and moved on?
well i should be glad that we do still keep contact.
and me and gab always have study session few times a week been great and it able to get away of me feeling emotional over this stuff.and not forgetting the cycling part was nice and also few outing with the close friends.
and a chat with astiana few times a week on msn.it just feels so great after talking to her cause she understand me.

Do mr jain words really true that being retain will effect our whole life?
and i feeling this now? Oh God. i dont wna have this feeling..

classmates been great and its different from 3e3 07.
took me so much effort to have the best impression this yr.
and i will try my best to be a good chairman.

i should motivate classmates to work hard cause i dont want them to regret




well i guess things change and i find it super ridiculous about this sentence "a leopard will never change its spots". cause peoples DO change and everyone change. even the world.I wonder how this sentence came about.

oh this been getting so emotional now and i should stop.


p/s: just my point of view. as what axl says.

aku tak mudah untuk mencintai
aku tak mudah mengaku ku cinta
aku tak mudah mengatakan aku jatuh cinta

its been a very fast month. everything just pass by in a blink of an eye.there
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,some bad times I've been through, some chances I just threw away. maybe i need to reflect upon myself. Changes sometimes i cant accept


What is a friend? Could it be that it's just a word? Or something in your life that you heard? Or just another one of those big fat lies? Cause many nights this word has made me cry. So hard my stomach hurts. Deep down inside..

ya i should not think how unlucky i am to be me. ya ya there are more unfortunate peoples out there who is more unfortunate then me. i should always thanks God that i have a family who always there well mostly i guess, a few friend who been there during my darkest times and my happiest time! I have no idea how i find them. people who i tried to hard to be friends with in the end are just a piece of crap.But i never regret knowing them.

sometimes i wonder what do actually people look at me as?
ya mostly there will say blur guy and cute guy ,quiet guy and the list will go on. but do they really mean it? or they just trying to fake it? Ya,i wont expect them to say me "wahh so ugly lah you" that will be so weird as i believe humans are not that cruel. but some do and i experience it before face to face.

people were shocked when they know i was retained. yea so? and mostly people asked me why im not sad/depressed/regret. hahs you expect me to say "omg im so sad! i hate my life?" or OMG IM SO DEPRESSED!" ya i was depressed, ya i was sad yes i regret, believe me i cried alot. but i wna thanks handsome who always been there.and a few i wont mention. their funny opinion of retaining just makes me laughs. but one thing that never fail to bring me down is what will happened to our friendship? will you remember me next year? will you still be there?

i will not be with you guys on your prom night:( ya i know its silly to think about that now. maybe i just leave everything to God. He will have great plans for me in future i believe. But believe me when you guys receive your O level results i will be there with you guys sharing the joy! YOU guys are my first real friends!


i wonder how i gonna survive next year? new friend i will be making.new classes i never step into .one thing for sure , im so going to concentrate on my studies. I promise gabby to get in the tops. but i have doubts:(


well The past can't be rewritten, i cant change the past cause its gone.
yes there are lesson to be learnt.

well maybe i need some time to just do a refection of myself.
a brand new year is coming soon! and i need to get prepared for a new challenges ahead of me. and also setting my goal right.

well ending off with a quote i found meaningful. "

The meaning of life is so hard to see,
There's not always a sign or guarantee
That this world will be an easy place
Or that you'll be the winner of each race.

The best things in life take awhile to earn,
They're lessons of the heart that you must learn.
So take it easy and take it slow,
There's much of this world that you've yet to know.

You may get hurt and quite possibly burned,
But don't be scared of tables being turned.
These things you sustain are lessons in life,
You cannot overcome them without some strife.
You will see each day as a gift from above
That you must learn to cherish and to love."
-Karen T,Tennessee

and and

" Whenever I'm not there, and we're apart,
Remember I'm there, always in heart.

When things get bad, and really rough,
Stick it out, I know its tough.

And when its over, give me a call
I'll be here, heart and all.

And when you think there's no way out,
We'll do it together and figure it out.

We've survived together through many years,
Shared lots of laughs and lots of tears.

You've always been there for me when I'm blue,
You always know just what to do.

And when you're down, I hope I'm there,
To show you just how much I care.

No matter the distance no matter the miles,
We'll always have each other's smiles.

hahas PULAUubin!

today been such a disappointing and wasted day for me.:(
Thursday will be going odac camp! YAY or Oh no!? I am unsure whether to look forward to it or not!The pack list given seriously give me with lots of doubt. No need to bring extra old shoe? what the heck! what about kayaking ? oh well lets move on.


I edited a few pictures yay!



=P


they are the best! believe me.


believe me !


4 in the morning!just for keith!(:


I feel bad for the crockidile:(


got spelling error im lazy to edit again!(:


keith Birthday party!


faiz,XH,qian ling and YI yang!




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